I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
