I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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