We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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