Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
