I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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