Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize