Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
