I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he puts the penis in happiness.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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