ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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