I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
