Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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