I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
