Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
