Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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