Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
