I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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