You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
