there's paper in my vomit.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
