i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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