pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
