Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
