We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize