How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
