The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
