i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
40s are totally the cure
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
