I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
