the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
