I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
