You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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