how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
