She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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