so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
