So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
How external is "for external use only"?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
