just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
