Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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