Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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