I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
