Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
