11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
