No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
