soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
