I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
