I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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