Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
