I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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