Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
