There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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