i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
