just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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