Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
