I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My liver just had a heart attack.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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