if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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