Christians are straight up FREAKS
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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