..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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